Blast Beats

Before I knew the dim history of my distant fathers,
I thought of Constantine as the name of a steady heartbeat,
or an everflowing river, eager to run and never tired,
for this is what I have always strove to become.

For now, I am more a tempermental volcano,
intermittent and distracted, my thoughts sputter and blow out,
long before they have reached their conclusive end,
yet I long to emerge with a steady beat of the drum,
eating the love and devotion I sought.